5 Steps to Becoming THAT Soccer Mom

As Soccer season starts to come to an end, I thought today how I finally have my shit together. It took three years but better late than never. I finally feel like “THAT” soccer mom. This is what helps me not have a complete melt down.

Be Prepared

Step 1: Be Prepared! You are in for some long days. If you choose AYSO there will be once or twice a week practice right after work. You will have a game every Saturday and hours vary, but don’t worry you will always have an 8 AM Saturday game. Kiss your Sleepy Saturday temporarily away. Lastly, if you’re on a budget, start stashing those stripper dollars in your piggy bank.

Snack Time

Step 2: Think ahead for Snack Time! If your kid loves strawberries, then take strawberries. Don’t overcomplicate shit. I found slicing grapes in half and placing them in the freezer are mini-flavored ice cubes! Peeled Oranges or Cuties are also a must on game days. Snack duty is on a weekly rotation. When it’s your snack game day you have to take a snack bag to each child and sibling(s); sibling(s) are extra but it’s always nice. This year I finally became a badass and bought soccer paper bags, cut paper soccer balls on my Cricut, and added each child’s name to each bag. Was that extra? No, what was extra was when I added a soccer spinner to each bag… now that shit was extra! On a more serious note: Ask each parent if their child has any allergies. Nobody wants an ER trip. Fill the bag with chips, cookies, protein bars, gummy bears, and a mini-Gatorade, Powerade, or the “in” drink PRIME. Teams have 5 players but with siblings, I always have to make 8. Make the baggies ahead of time and leave them at the door! it sucks missing part of the game because your stupid ass forgot the bags, yep I was that stupid ass.

All the Right Stuff

Step 3: Stuff, Stuff with more Stuff! Amazon, Ross, and Walmart will be your best friends. Uniforms are provided by the association. Find an old backpack to dedicate to soccer only. Grass, dirt, sweat, blood, and saliva will become a part of your backpack. Essentials: shin guards, cleats, extra soccer socks, sunblock, sweat towels, first aid kit, foot powder, soccer ball, Hydro Flask, UV protection hat, foldable chair, backpack cooler. Extra shit: beach blanket, pop-up tent, pop-up team chair, cooler, wagon. I’m always looking for good deals since I hate paying full price. That is when Ross comes into play! It is hit or miss but I scored last year and found Addidas cleats for $20. If you buy from Amazon, make sure to read the reviews and the product description.

Soccer Corner

Step 4: Have several soccer corners! My first soccer corner is at the entrance. It’s not ideal but it helps us. In this designated area my kids know throw cleats and shin guards. My husband knows to put away the coolers next to the backpack. Pro tip: Add foot powder to the shoes when you put them away. My second soccer corner, is the truck of my car. I leave everything in the trunk unless we get the car washed. Not having a garage is my main reason, I do like the fact everything is ready to go.

Have Fun

Step 5: Have fun. This is a great way to meet families with similar interests. Win or lose teach your kids it’s a game. I tell my kids we lost this game but tomorrow we practive twice as hard. Pro Tip: if you know nothing about soccer pay attention to the coach’s instructions. This is a great way to learn along with your kids. Don’t be that asole yelling at your child cheer them on in a positive way.